Security lines and packing aside, frequent business travel has a host of   built-in perks — not the least of which is the opportunity to explore   foreign ports of call and engage directly with distant cultures. Given   the inevitable yin and yang of most situations, this lifestyle also   comes with unique disadvantages. Topping the list for business travelers   with spouses, partners or families is the toll levied against these   important personal relationships. Extending your travel plans and   bringing your loved ones along can help minimize possible relationship   damage.

Global Currency

If you’re already mentally calculating the extra planning necessary to   incorporate family into your travel plans — and madly computing all the   things that could possibly go wrong — consider this: The potential for   shared experiences to create lasting bonds is quite possibly worth your   carry-on’s weight in gold.

Child development expert and parent coach Gila Brown, M.A., has more   than 15 years of experience working with children and is the creator of   the parenting CD Help! My Kids Just Won’t Listen. According to Brown,  being apart from family definitely creates strain on relationships.  Children — especially younger ones who don’t understand the work-travel   dynamic — may be confused about the erratic comings and goings of a   parent and be left with feelings of insecurity.

“Kids feel safe when they can trust that their parents are there for   them,” says Brown. “Having a parent leave regularly can be very   unsettling and scary for young kids. Taking them along on a trip sends   the message that the family unit is just that — a unit.”

Imagine, says Brown, how much richer the experiences of seeing the   Colosseum or the Eiffel Tower would be in the company of your family.  Taking family along can strengthen personal ties and gives parents the   chance to create lasting memories, not only for kids but also for   themselves.

Heather Greenwood Davis, a writer, attorney and award-winning family   travel columnist for the Toronto Star, is about to embark on a   year-long, around-the-globe trip with her husband and two sons. This   won’t be the first time the family has traveled together while Davis is   working, and she’s developed a repertoire of tactics for successful   journeys. Even though such ventures require additional planning, her   experiences have proven the extra effort is more than worthwhile.

“When planning,” she says, “the age, maturity and personalities of the   kids have to be a factor. Little ones who are more likely to have   fingers in mouths or pick up stray objects require a hyper-vigilance   that could make a trip taken at breakneck speed tough on everyone. Teens   who are looking for action are going to get grumpy touring their 20th   temple no matter how interesting the first one is. If you take   everyone’s needs and likes into account at the beginning and give older   kids some say in what you’re doing, you’ll have a more enjoyable trip   and likely have some bartering chips for when personalities clash along   the way.”

The Intimacy Equation

Family travel, of course, doesn’t necessarily involve children. Bringing   a spouse or life partner has obvious romantic benefits and lets you   share your life in both practical and intimate ways (there’s nothing   like being in a remote location and missing the last train of the day   together to create a lasting memory). But even if you’ve arranged an   extra week together in a vine-covered B&B in the French countryside,  there may still be unexpected challenges. Partners often have   completely different travel styles, for starters. While one may be   blissfully content to spend an entire afternoon wandering an obscure   ruin or museum, the other may be happier hiking a footpath, shopping or   taking a cooking class.

Planning and compromise can make or break a trip. Deciding beforehand to   split up for part of each day, then meeting up for dinner fulfilled and   excited to share what you’ve discovered on your own can provide a   different type of bonding.

According to Judith Blackstone, Ph.D., author of The Empathic Ground,  Living Intimately: A Guide to Realizing Spiritual Unity in Relationships   and The Intimate Life, one of the hardest things in relationships is to   appreciate others’ differences and to allow them space to be who they   are.

“Organizing beforehand to take advantage of each person’s strengths can   be helpful,” says Blackstone. “Who’s going to navigate, who’s going to   handle money exchanges or be responsible for learning useful phrases of a   foreign language? It’s also important to build in time for relaxing,  whether that’s a leisurely dinner, spa appointments or whatever helps   each person to release stress. When one partner is working, the other   may feel abandoned or neglected. And the working partner may feel   resentful that the other person is enjoying leisure time. Talk about   these things ahead of time.”

It’s also essential, says Blackstone, for those who are working to put   aside that work and engage fully with their partner and to be prepared   should conflict arise.

“Listening carefully to one another is essential. Showing that kind of   respect or even taking a ‘time out’ can be enormously helpful,” explains   Blackstone. “I travel a lot, and sometimes I just get so tired of that   sense of foreignness. To deal with that, my husband and I find a   Western-style hotel and order a meal of something familiar and   comforting, which can help put things back into perspective.”

Base Camps

One of the biggest challenges for a business traveler when including   family is the disruption in what has likely become a routine way of   handling frequent travel. Getting up early for a workout, negotiating   train schedules with tight connections and ordering room service dinners   while answering email may not be options.

“It’s a mistake to think you can add the kids to a business trip and   keep everyone happy without some planning,” Davis admits. “You know your   own business style, so think about how the kids will impact that. Be   honest about what your time commitments for work will be. Trouble brews   out of miscommunication and disappointment over false expectations. If   the kids are old enough, explain how things will work ahead of time.  Also consider your own feelings. Is it going to drive you nuts to know   the whole family is experiencing the city while you’ve got to work? If   so, it might be better to add them on at the end of the trip when you’ll   have time to explore with them.”

Including family as part of business travel has become easier, thanks to   the burgeoning “extended stay” market. Filling the accommodations chasm   between hotel rooms and apartment rentals, extended stay options come   in a range of levels, from fully staffed villas to hotel room   equivalents with food preparation facilities. This type of lodging can   provide a sense of hominess that makes everyone feel comfortable.

Bigger Picture

Travel is a guaranteed way to expand your family’s horizons and give   them learning experiences that can help shape their world in ways that   will likely benefit them for their entire lives.

Brown points out, “We tend to think of education as something that   occurs within the classroom. In my experience, the best learning happens   organically and experientially. Exposing kids to new environments, new   cultures and new languages is a fantastic tool for learning.”

“Everyone benefits from travel,” agrees Davis. “For the kids, it’s the   tangible realization that life extends beyond the world they know. They   literally get to see that the world is small and come away with an   immediate understanding of how every action has a reaction. With our   year-long trip, we’re hoping that traveling together will help to build a   family bond that can get us through the teen years — when the kids are   less likely to want to hang with the folks. We’re hoping to solidify   relationships with the boys as we travel, where the only constant in our   lives will be each other.”

And what about traveling with teens? As anyone with one knows, there are   times when they behave as though having parents is an embarrassing fact   of life, one best ignored if possible.

“I encourage my clients to empower teens to make decisions,” offers   Brown. “When kids have ownership over the things that impact their own   lives, they grow up to be more independent-thinking, compassionate and   responsible adults. When traveling with teens, engage them in the   process of developing the plan. What activities do they want to do? What   places do they want to visit? What activities can they do abroad   without supervision (if any)? Do their plans require any preparation   that they can be responsible for arranging, such as helping with   reservations or obtaining certain equipment? When kids feel that they   played a role in deciding how to spend their time, they are more likely   to engage willingly. This is particularly important when dealing with   older kids who are beginning to explore and assert their own identity.”

In the process of broadening the horizons and life experiences of your   kids and spouse, you may be surprised to find how much your own life is   being enriched. If, however, you discover yourself in some   out-of-the-way village where a local tribal leader is honoring your   family as guests by having his seven daughters dance topless in the   firelight in front of you and your 14-year-old son, we can’t help you.  Other than to assure you that someday the experience is likely to make a   great family story.

Home Away from Home

Explore these options for extended-stay accommodations domestically and abroad.

Homewood Suites
Homestead Studio Suites
Embassy Suites
Staybridge
Marriott Extended Stay
Crossland Studios
StudioPlus
Extended Stay America
ExtendedStay Deluxe Hotel
Candlewood Suites
Studio 6 Extended Stay Hotels
Biz-Stay
Extended Stay Network