Sometimes we get so wrapped up in trying to create the perfect “Hallmark holiday” for those around us that we miss the true point of the celebration. Setting high expectations — in some cases expectations that are out of reach — can lead to a feeling of disappointment during the holidays, or a post-holiday letdown after Jan. 1. At the same time, for some the holidays are a time of self-evaluation, prompting regrets about things that occurred during the past year and anxiety about an uncertain future. Fatigue only serves to compound those feelings — and before you know it, you’ve got a full-blown case of holiday blues.

Understanding why you feel stress during the holidays can help you avoid the triggers for holiday strain. Three areas that produce holiday stress and depression are relationships, finances and physical demands.

Of course, relationships, especially with family, can cause stress and conflict at any time; however, this pressure is heightened during the holidays when you try to make everyone happy (which is impossible). If your mood, or the mood of those around you, isn’t sufficiently jovial, you might feel frustration. At the same time, holidays spent without the company of loved ones — whether you’re unable to join your family or friends because of work commitments or you’re facing the holidays after the death of a loved one — present their own stress and pressure, leaving you feeling sad or lonely.

Finances also cause stress at any time of year, but their influence is magnified during the holidays, when you may be tempted to overspend on entertainment, food, gifts and travel.

The holidays can also place excessive physical demands on you. The need to decorate, cook, clean, shop, wrap gifts, entertain, and attend religious services and parties can be exhausting. Stress and fatigue build during these times, especially if you’re not sleeping and exercising properly.

So what can you do to minimize holiday stress? Simplify your celebration, invest your energies wisely, let go of unrealistic expectations and take care of yourself.

To simplify your celebration, start by setting a holiday budget and sticking to it. Do not equate love with the cost and quantity of gifts. A carefully chosen present can be more significant than a high-priced doodad you buy at the last minute when you’re out of ideas. And with that mind, simplifying also means planning ahead. Shop early, when stores are less crowded, or shop online where there are no crowds at all. That goes both for gifts and for groceries you’ll need for the season.

Planning ahead also helps you invest your energy wisely, because it limits the amount of time you’ll spend dashing around at the last minute. But there’s more to it than that. Think about past holiday celebrations and how much time and energy you invested in them. Was your energy investment worth it? If you honestly get a kick out of baking cookies for days on end or decorating every inch of the house, go ahead and do it. But if the last few holiday celebrations left you feeling drained flat, it’s time to pare down your family traditions and holiday activities to include only the ones that are most meaningful to everyone.

Unrealistic expectations include the idea that your home must be perfectly clean or elaborately decorated for the holidays. Chances are, your guests won’t expect to encounter magazine=worthy décor, nor will they expect to be served a gourmet meal. Ask everyone to bring their favorite dish. Use paper plates if needed, and buy prepared food. Set aside days for baking. Cook and freeze food ahead of time. Think simple and focus on the purpose of the get-together: Your guests really want to see you and each other and to celebrate together.

Do not abandon healthy habits during the holiday season. It is not the time for a dietary free-for-all. Some splurges are alright, but excesses only add to your guilt and stress. Eat a healthy snack before a holiday party so you do not go overboard with sweets, cheese and alcohol. Continue to get plenty of sleep, and schedule time for exercise. Take a walk around your neighborhood. Keeping fit and getting sufficient sleep are good antidotes to stress and fatigue.

Finally, remember to accept that things will not always go as planned. The unexpected and spontaneous events of the holidays are what make them memorable. Focus on peace, love and joy. You may end up enjoying the holidays more than you thought you would.

Sidebar: Deep Blues

Sometimes the holiday season can bring on feelings of sadness and loneliness, especially if you’re mourning the loss of a loved one or you are by yourself. Acknowledge your feelings; they’re normal. You cannot force yourself to be happy just because it is the holiday season. It may comfort you to volunteer your time for a worthy cause during the holidays. If, despite your best efforts, you find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, and you are plagued by physical complaints such as an inability to sleep or perform routine tasks, irritability, or hopelessness, contact your doctor or healthcare provider. These may be symptoms of depression.